Please See Me Through My Tears
You asked, "How are you doing?"As I told you, tears came to my eyes . . .And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.All the attention you had given me drained away."How am I doing?" . . .I do better when people listen,though I may shed a tear or two.These feelings are indescribable.If you’ve never felt them you cannot fully understand.Yet I need you.When you look away,when I’m ignored,I am again alone with them.Your attention means more than you can ever know.Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!They’re nature’s way of helping me to heal . . .They relieve some of the stress of sadness.I know you fear that askinghow I’m doing brings me sadness . . .but it doesn’t work that way.The memory of my loved one’s absence is with me,only a thought away.My tears make my loss more visible to you,but you did not cause this sadness.It was already there.When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,not knowing what to do?You are not helpless,and you don’t need to do a thing but be here for me.When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,you’ve helped me.You need not speak. Your silence is all I need.Be patient . . . do not fear.Listening with your heart to "how am I doing"validates what I’m going through,for when the tears can freely come I feel lighter.Talking to you releases what I’ve been wanting to say aloud,clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.I’ll cry for a minute or two . . . then I’ll wipe my eyes,and sometimes you’ll even find I’m laughing in a while.When I hold back my tears, my throat grows tight,my chest aches, my stomach knots . . .because I’m trying to protect you from my tears.Then we both hurt . . .me, because my feelings are held inside,causing pain and a shield against our closeness . . .and you, because suddenly we’re emotionally distant.So please, take my hand and see me through my tears . . .then we can be close again
